Does he buy you yellow flowers when the sky is gray... heeeyyy

In light of my recent "I want to move NOW" attitude, I have been looking at jobs in the few cities that I want to move to. Unfortunately, there are none. I might as well stay here.

I can't help but wonder if maybe the reason I want to move is to run away. I haven't really been myself in a while and have started to resent living in Birmingham. I know that if I want things to change I have to MAKE them change because let's face it: no one's going to come do it for me. People aren't going to seek me out to become friends with me. Yeah, that's a little Debbie Downer, but it's true. No one's going to walk up to my front door, knock, and say "Hi there. I was just in the neighborhood and thought we could be friends." I keep telling myself that I NEED to get out and do stuff... but I rarely take my own advice. I mean, what's the big deal about asking a new friend "Hey, want to go check out this bar/restaurant/movie/etc. Friday night?" But again, do I do it? No. I guess because most of the new friends I've made over the past year have been through my friends that I already have and I look at it as "well I can't really ask so and so to do something without asking her/him to go as well because so and so was her/his friend first." Totally lame, no? So maybe that should be my mid-year resolution... screw the mutual friend and just ask people to do stuff, regardless of who was there first. Because in reality, we all get replaced at some point. Whether it's by a new girlfriend, a new work friend, or a new dog.

Random tangent: I hate when men are like really friendly to me and I feel comfortable talking to them (maybe opening a little flirting) and they're married. I know that they're being nice, but why is it the majority of the men who act like that towards me are married and the ones that aren't barely even look at me? Just wondering... I'm not really going to explore that because I'm sure I won't like the results.

I just thought of something. I'm really already over the bastard... I think I have to avoid certain places in town, not think about certain things, and turn the radio when some songs come on, but I think I really and truly just don't give a f--- about him anymore. I'm pretty sure I'm ready to move on. I don't really think I want to be with any guys anytime soon, but if one comes along I won't send him packing.